Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
