grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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