Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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