She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
