Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
