And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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