Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.