I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible