I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich