Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.