Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES