Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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