I'm eating all of the evidence.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
