I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
