In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
