were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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