so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
