Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize