I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize