Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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