When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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