Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
