I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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