Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
