i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My hand turned me down
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
