My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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