Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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