When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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