Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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