I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
