On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
