I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize