Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
