By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
