No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
