I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize