I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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