This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
