New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
