I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
