So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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