D3 body, D1 cock
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
