Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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