Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
ok first of all what the fuck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
