After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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