Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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