i jhust puked up my retainher.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
