i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
