Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
