im about as happy as oj after his trial
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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