ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
