dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
