Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
