a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
