Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Four minutes until I can fart!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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