Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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