I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
