She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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