69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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