there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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