if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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