You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
